It was getting late during a maintenance window with a customer and we decided it was time to get some pizza munch going. I pulled up the Dominoes website, ordered a couple large specialty “Meatza” pies and 5 bottles of Dr. Pepper.

“Gah, we forgot to get ranch,” the customer says to me after I told him the pies were in the oven – courtesy of, the website informed me, Antoinette the pizza artisan.

“There’s a number here – I can call them and have them add it to the order,” I said as I picked up my iPhone unlocking it with my super sekrit password.

“It costs extra though; they’ll have to re-run the credit card.”

“Hah, not if I get a woman on the phone,” I said, dialing the number. Suddenly I had the room’s attention. That’s right, class is in session.

The phone rang twice and I was greeted by a perky female voice, “Dominoes! Delivery or carryout?”

“Hi, my name’s Steven – how are you tonight?” I said, making a point to smile and annunciate each word carefully, infusing them with just the right amount of PEQ (read: awesome).

“I’m– I’m good, how are you?” she breathed, giving up on her script entirely.

“I’m doing real good – hey, I just ordered a couple pizzas… the–”

“The two Meatzas?” she offered quickly.

“Hah, yeah – you must be Antoinette then?”

“Yeah! Who’s this?” she said, her voice kind of turning up at the end – her interest piqued.

“I’m just Steve… you don’t know me, I’m just ordering some pizza,” I replied, winging it, not really expecting her to come back with a question.

There was a short pause and then, “Do you live around here?”

“No, just visiting for a few days. Hey – after I ordered I realized I forgot to ask for ranch…”

“Oh, I’ll make sure there are some in there, no problem,” she said a little faster than I’d expected.

“I really appreciate that Antoinette,” I said, trying to match the same saccharine tone with which I’d begun the call.

“You’re welcome!”

I let the pause swell for a moment, put on my very best no-no-thank-you smile, and finally broke the silence.

“You have have a nice night.”

“You too,” she said with an discernible twinge of disappointment, hanging up.

The pizza came 45 minutes later. It had enough ranch dressing in it to feed a small army. We were just about done eating and one of the guys pipes up.

“Wouldja look at this…” he says, turning the pizza box toward his friend to his left.

“What?” I asked, walking around the table.

“She left you a message!” he said, laughing his head off.

She sure did.

As a good friend told me: “You must make sure to use your powers for awesome and not evil.”